Friday, August 24, 2007

The 10 Types of Diggers

Warning!!! This post contains lame humor. Proceed with caution!!!

Digg is one of the net's successful sites. And for a good reason - it showed the world what are social news, and the huge value of such a concept. Digg actually shows you what other people read and see on the net - not just what news editors want you to see.

There are all kind of types of diggers out there. Here are a few I managed to spot. Fill in the blanks if you feel like it:

  1. The Teacher (AKA The Correction Fluid): This guy (or gal) roams around digg and acts as the law enforcer. Be sure that if you put a digg in the wrong category - he will let you know. He'll reprimand you, either sarcastically or angrily. He will also bury your story (naturally), because "It's in the WRONG CATEGORY". Shame on you. Some of The Teachers will also correct your grammar and typos. Shame on you again, for daring to post something imperfect to digg.

  2. The Explanatory Burier: He has candor. He WILL bury your story, but at least he will tell you why. For example: "Buried for containing criticism about the iPhone", or "Buried because I am stoned".

  3. The Aces: No matter what they digg, it gets 2348 diggs at the very least. They are always on the fron page. Worship them or perish.

  4. The Wise Ass: He's not here to digg. He is here to COMMENT. Since he believes that most of humanity doesn't even deserve his attention, most of his comments will consist of no more than 3 words, one of which will be "FUCK".

  5. The Walking and Talking Calendar: Typical comments of this user include: "This was dugg 5 months and 3 days ago" and "I have already seen this shit 32 times on digg". Naturally, he will bury your story. That's what he's here for. Maintenance.

  6. The Silent Diggers: They are there. They digg and bury. They say nothing. Total silence. Spooky.

  7. The Comment Killers: Oh, we know about you, don't doubt that. These guys come in, and bury all comments on a dugg story. Just for shits and giggles, I suppose. Or because their Mom didn't breast-feed them. Go figure.

  8. The Digg Diggers: They only digg things about digg. They also live in a parallel dimension.

  9. The Top-10 -List Diggers: Sure, if someone made a Top-10 or Top-100 or Top-1,000,000 list, they MUST know what they are talking about, right?! Sure! Let's digg it!!! "Top 5 Toilet seats in Nevada"? - DIGG! "Top 10 Morons in my 2nd grade classroom?" - DIGG! "Top 10 things that SUCK on the iPhone"? - WHAT?! No! Bury this shit like there's no tomorrow!!!

  10. iPhone Worshipers: Enough said.