Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Top 7 Annoying Computer Sounds of all Times

Computers aren't the most silent machines in the world. Although they don't blip and chirrup every second, like in stupid movies, but they still produce a fair amount of sound. Some people consider it extremely cool that their computer can make digital noises. I am sure all of you cubical-dwellers have silently (or loudly) cursed your co-workers for leaving their speakers on.

Be it software or hardware, there are a few sounds made by computer that should forever be damned. And they are:

  1. The ICQ incoming message ("Uh-Oh"): Yeah, it was cute in the nineties, for about two seconds, but when it started to be the most common sound coming out of a computer, it began to be annoying. Pretty soon it was considered a plague. ICQ usage has declined over the years, but there are still a lot of kids using it. The Uh-Oh sound continues to reign supreme, and annoy the heck out of people.

    (The loudest-ever-horn sound that you can hear when you open ICQ gets an honorable mention).

  2. Any PowerPoint Sound: It's bad enough that everyone uses PowerPoint - from businessmen to teachers, from students to army officers - but it appears that some of them still think that PowerPoint default sounds are cool. Bursts, bombs and Ta-Da sounds are still a regular thing in PP presentations, and there is nothing much to do about it, except to hope that those wavs will someday die a slow death, along with their creators.

  3. Dial-Up Modem, unable to connect: The sound of a modem isn't exactly music to the ears in itself, but a modem unable to connect is a master-screech of hell, the embodiment of annoyance. Especially because it usually meant you couldn't connect to the net and your porn consumption suffered accordingly.

  4. Yahoo Messenger, User Signing Out: Oh, yes, THANK YOU! Don't we all love the sound of a squeaky door slamming shut in our faces? OVER and OVER again? All DAY long?

  5. Ad-Aware, End of Scan: When Ad-Aware finds spyware it lets you KNOW. The flashing bug icon and the text message isn't enough. Oh, no. Let's scare the shit out of you by making a weird-bug-like-buzzing sound, just to get your attention. Spyware is a scary business, after all. Reminds me of that horrible blurting beep we used to hear when Carmel Anti-Virus found a virus in a computer, back there in the early nineties.

  6. Computer Fan, Malfunctioning: Here you have your choice between numerous variations of annoying sounds. It can be a rattle of a broken fan, a high-pitch whine or just a plain hum that can drive you up the wallpaper. Sure, today there are many silent fans. Sure, I'll get some when I buy a new computer. In the mean time, I'll just keep the work-room door closed, just in order to avoid losing my sanity.

  7. The Windows Critical Stop (AKA chord.wav and Asterisk): For me, this is the top of the list. The winner. The absolute peak. The undefeated champion of all the years to come. That was the sound of death. The sound of a program crashing. The sound of error and despair. And if you ever had Windows 95, you heard it all the fucking time. Nothing can beat that. Well done, Bill! You are the winner again!!!


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

You should add one.

Avast finds a virus...


You know.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha yes, great post. I feel all system noises, just maybe excepting chat blips, are pointless, obnoxious, and rude to have set on by default...

I remember a PowerPoint project in middle school where adding sound effects was a requirement!